Orchestrating the Leaving...

I've had my share of practice at leaving.  After joining the Army, leaving for Texas, then Korea, then Texas again, and finally Pennsylvania, I've had the opportunity to improve on what I privately call, "Orchestrating the leaving."


Anybody who has ever left home or a loved one(s) knows the feeling of the storm growing as the days and hours and finally the minutes draw closer to the time of departure.  I've learned that leaving is hard on everybody, not just yourself.  It's important to take everybody into consideration and to try and make it as easy as possible on everybody.  Mothers, in particular, are fragile.  So my rule of thumb...Make it quick.  It's easier on everybody.  Don't stand around and invite a lot of people over a few hours before you leave.  Everybody will just be anxious dreading the moment when you get in your car or get on your plane and go.  It's no fun for anybody.  So make it a drive by.  Hey, I'm leaving.  See you later.  Then run for the door and don't look back.

I broke my standing order when we left Illinois last week.  We had the family over for a cookout and pictures a few hours before we were due to leave.  When my mom walked in the door I knew it was not going to be pretty.  Everybody tried to pretend we weren't leaving in a few hours, but it didn't work.  As the time for us to leave drew closer, there were knowing glances from husband to wife, wife to daughter, son to mother, etc.  Yes, we were telling each other.  The time is getting close, and I am trying to keep it together.  

Soon, Jenna, whom we were leaving in Illinois for an extended vacation, was wrapped in her mother's arms as they cried unashamedly in front of others.  That tore me up.  My old man was outside, and it wasn't because it was nice out.  Even he was afflicted with the anxiety that was hanging over all of us.  

Then the time came for final hugs.  The entire family was outside for all the public to see as we said our goodbyes and wiped away the tears.  It was nearly unbearable.  So much pain being experienced by everybody.


Something that would have been a lot easier had I done a better job at orchestrating the leaving...