I've had my share of practice at leaving. After joining the Army, leaving for Texas, then Korea, then Texas again, and finally Pennsylvania, I've had the opportunity to improve on what I privately call, "Orchestrating the leaving."
Anybody who has ever left home or a loved one(s) knows the feeling of the storm growing as the days and hours and finally the minutes draw closer to the time of departure. I've learned that leaving is hard on everybody, not just yourself. It's important to take everybody into consideration and to try and make it as easy as possible on everybody. Mothers, in particular, are fragile. So my rule of thumb...Make it quick. It's easier on everybody. Don't stand around and invite a lot of people over a few hours before you leave. Everybody will just be anxious dreading the moment when you get in your car or get on your plane and go. It's no fun for anybody. So make it a drive by. Hey, I'm leaving. See you later. Then run for the door and don't look back.
I broke my standing order when we left Illinois last week. We had the family over for a cookout and pictures a few hours before we were due to leave. When my mom walked in the door I knew it was not going to be pretty. Everybody tried to pretend we weren't leaving in a few hours, but it didn't work. As the time for us to leave drew closer, there were knowing glances from husband to wife, wife to daughter, son to mother, etc. Yes, we were telling each other. The time is getting close, and I am trying to keep it together.
Soon, Jenna, whom we were leaving in Illinois for an extended vacation, was wrapped in her mother's arms as they cried unashamedly in front of others. That tore me up. My old man was outside, and it wasn't because it was nice out. Even he was afflicted with the anxiety that was hanging over all of us.
Then the time came for final hugs. The entire family was outside for all the public to see as we said our goodbyes and wiped away the tears. It was nearly unbearable. So much pain being experienced by everybody.
Something that would have been a lot easier had I done a better job at orchestrating the leaving...
Friday, July 25, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Top 10
While at work the other day, a co-worker and myself used a white board to list out our top 10 songs. We couldn't have been more different! There's no sex pistols or Elton John on my top 10. We decided to create a CD with out 10 top and swap them. But what's a top 10 list without the stories behind them? So here's my top 10 list with the reasoning behind each of them. After all, the song is only a small part of the story. It's the emotions or the memories they stir that tell the real story.
These are not in order. That would be much too complicated.
Alright Guy, Gary Allan
I like to think the spirit of this song is me. I've done some stupid things, and I'm a little rough around the edges, but hey, I'm an alright guy.
"Now I'm stuck in this jail with a bunch of dumb hicks, and I still don't know why..."
Coma, Guns N' Roses
At just over 10 minutes long, this is epic. Wherever the song takes you, it always brings you back to the same rhythm. Each time you listen to it, you discover something new. A true piece of lyrical and musical art. A very complex and complicated song.
"No you don't need a doctor, nobody else can heal your soul. You got your mind in submission, you got your life on the line, but nobody pulled the trigger, they just stepped aside..."
When I first heard this song, it was just ok, but it quickly grew on me. You can feel the emotion and the pain building throughout the entire song until it finally explodes during the guitar solo at the end. I tried to get my wife to understand this, but she never looked at songs this way. After seeing Keith play this in concert, Heather finally got it.
"and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans..."
Brown-Eyed Girl, Van Morrison
A song about a girl...
and a time we danced; the look in her eye. I had put that sparkle in her eyes...
Where Ever I May Roam, Metallica
An anthem. You couldn't turn on MTV without seeing this video. This song makes you want to go and conquer the world, or at least the day.
"to this game you stay a slave..."
Every Now and Then, Garth Brooks
This song is myself and my friend Brian sitting in his truck. He'd blare this song and we'd sing along. He always sang it with such passion, and sometimes I think he forgot I was there. It was like this song took him somewhere, to somebody. To this day, I don't know who he longed for while singing this song. He died many years ago.
"I heard a song on the radio just yesterday, the same one you always asked me to play. And when the song was over, I wished they'd play it again. Yes I do think about you every now and then"
Long December, Counting Crows
There's so many gems in this song. "the feeling it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls." "Maybe this year will be better than the last." "We talk like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs." A song of depression, of hope. Whatever you want it to be.
Pour Some Sugar On Me, Def Leppard
The song written with lyrics to fit the riffs. This is 8th grade all over again. I had the shirt. I had the hole in the jeans. I had the cowboy boots. I had the hair (still pissed at my mom for not letting me grow it out even longer).
"Love is like a bomb baby c'mon get it on, Livin' like a lover with a radar phone, Lookin' like a tramp like a video vamp, Demolition woman can I be your man"
You Look Good In My Shirt, Keith Urban (Original Version)
This makes Keith the only artist with 2 songs on here. The first time I heard this was at his concert in Philly. I was completely blown away. What a clever, energetic, and fun song. Heather and I couldn't stop talking about it.
Black, Pearl Jam
Probably number 1 on this list. I remember many nights sitting in the dark listening to this song over and over again. This songs compels you to be moved every time you hear it. Who can't feel his pain as Eddie wails...
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun in somebody else's life, but why, why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine...
Honorable Mention...
Girl School, Britney Fox
This song rocks!!!! The guitar and drums come together perfectly.
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